Friday, March 21, 2008

21 November: Fall Thoughts

Only twenty-five days to go. Fall seemed so fleeting this year, but I suppose that is the nature of the season. I try to savor every step of every walk through “my” woods, knowing that my days in Botnang are numbered. I’ve watched the colors change and the leaves fall these past few weeks, knowing it was the third and last time I would see the changing of the seasons in Stuttgart. A few weeks ago the freshly fallen leaves painted a spectrum of orange along the trails – colors straight out of a box of Crayola crayons. Now the leaves are rain-sodden and smashed to a uniform pulp of burgundy and chocolate brown. I still walk most mornings with Evelyne and Marlena, but somehow our conversations have lost their charm. I’m very tired and long to sleep in, but I know I should keep up my morning German practice as long as possible. It’s harder to concentrate when you are tired, and I find my mind wandering. I’m wondering when I should tell Evelyne I am pregnant, and how to break the news to her that I’m really too tired to walk for an hour every morning.

I’m nearing the end of my jazz classes as well…tonight I told Marilena that I’m pregnant and she was thrilled. I’m avoiding any big jumps so I didn’t do one of the sequences across the floor. I stood in the back with one hand over my belly and one of the girls (the only other one who isn’t in the professional program) gave me a little smile. I smiled back and whispered that I was pregnant, and she said, “I thought so!”

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